What are the benefits of letting my heart guide me?
Your heart is a special compass that you received at birth to give you a sense of direction in life. Unfortunately this compass is almost always replaced by the mind at a certain age. Decisions we take with our hearts are decisions that correspond to us, decisions that have been taken BY us FOR us. Your heart is 100% you. To listen to your heart is to listen to your soul and to understand its wishes and dreams. The path that springs from your heart is the yellow brick road to fulfilment and happiness.
Decisions that you take with your head are always decisions that have been influenced, formatted by your entourage that consists of your family, friends, society, your education and upbringing. The mind always limits, it thinks in terms of obstacles and limitations. It’s the little voice telling you that you can’t do this or are unable to do that. Your heart is unlimited, it sees possibilities where your mind sees obstacles. Decisions that are guided by the head are often decisions we regret, or that create frustrations afterwards.
How do I know if I’m using the right compass?
My decisions and my life are guided by my head
My decisions and my life are guided by my heart
|– I often say, “Yes, but..”||– I can’t explain it, but I know that everything will turn out right|
|– I often worry if I’m taking the right decision||– I feel motivated by an invisible force|
|– I often worry about what other people may think of me||– I take decisions in accord to who I am|
|– I’m forgetful||– I have a clear mind|
|– I need people to look up to me/to love me||– I love to share ideas, experiences about subjects I am passionate about|
|– I’m often lost in thoughts||– I’m attentive and 100% present when someone talks to me|
|– I often use the phrase “I was told that”||– I do everything I do with great passion|
|– I’m always ready to defend myself||– I don’t feel the need to defend my ideas|
|– I’m nervous, agitated||– I’m calm, reassuring|
|– I always worry about the “how” when I have an idea||– I know what I want, we’ll see about the how later|
|– I need a lot of feedback||– I notice synchronicities in life, I don’t need more confirmations than that|
|– I often criticise others||– Everything I undertake makes me happy|
|– I always try to convince others of my opinion||– I love to learn new things|
What can I do when I realise I’m being guided by the “wrong” compass?
Don’t panic, it’s never too late to make some adaptations and to change your course! Here are some simple first steps to turn your life around and get some useful guidance and become completely autonomous and independent.
1. Take a piece of paper and write down what you want in life. We’re always very good at saying what we don’t want, but let’s take the time to write down everything we would like to have/keep (material and immaterial) in our lives. This is a first step to assess where you find yourself exactly in the realisation of your dreams and to start changing things if you’ve taken a wrong turn.
2. Define your 4 core values. Which values are essential to you? You want to build your life around which values? The 4 values you choose are the 4 pillars you will build your life on (these values can change after a while). From there on, you can use these values every time you’ve got a major decision to take and you can compare any new situation to see if it is in line with these values.
I’ll give you mine as an example: Joy, Love, Gratitude and Authenticity. I am careful, whenever I start something new, that what I’ll be doing will make me happy, I will be able to do it with love, I feel gratitude when I visualise my goal and this action is coherent with who I am.
3. Carefully choose your advisors. You can always ask the advice of other people, just be careful that you’re the one taking the decisions. And also, carefully choose whom you ask advice of. Does the person that is advising you share your values or have similar values? Does this person have the kind of life you would like to have? Is this person an expert in the field I’m asking him advice about? Is this someone who follows up on his dreams? If the answer is no, you should change your advisor.
I will assure you, these things will become easy after a certain period of time. Your head will start to co-operate with your heart after a while, instead of always trying to control it and the decisions you will take will be decisions that correspond to your values and your dreams, even without thinking about it. Your life will gently start to align to who you truly are.